Starting Again

Another fresh start: If you read this for long you'll find I have alot of those. You'll also find that although I'm not nearly as consistant as I want or need to be, I never give up.  So today is another fresh start.  Yippee (in a not so enthusiastic tone)

I weighed in this morning, and was pleased to see that although I wasn't following my plan this week, I still lost a couple pounds and weighed in at 294.6.  I also took some pics for comparison later in my journey

Looking at these pictures makes me ashamed and angry.  When I look in the mirror, this is NOT what I see. I'm aware I wasn't what I once was, but it's amazing how the mind can see something differently than reality. When I look at these pictures, I see a woman that does not love herself.  But honestly, I thought I did.  I'll admit to emotional eating, loneliness, depression... but self hate, not so much.  Whatever the problem, no more excuses.  (Yes, that's the theme for biggest loser this year. I'm taking it to heart)  

PM:  I grew increasingly irritable through the day.  This was not related to food cravings, but to the issues resulting from last years car accident.  Again I began to question my career choices, what i want in life, and where I'm going.  On the bright side, I managed to do well with my eating.  No binging tonight.  

Todays meals:

Breakfast:  Jimmy Dean D-lite Turkey Sausage Muffin (7)

Snack: Banana (0), 1 peanut cluster (1)

Lunch: Subway 6 inch Tuna with lettuce, onion and bell pepper (12)

Dinner: 4 oz steak (7), broccoli (0), baked potato with light margarine and light sour cream (4)

Dessert: 1 bag m&m's (6)

Points Used: 37

Points Target: 44

Unused : 7