Thursday, January 5, 2012

Taking a Dive

The last week has been extremely difficult. The depression is getting worse every day, and I just can't seem to find motivation or joy in anything I do.  I've been taking abilify which was a wonderful help, but seems to have suddenly stopped working. I'm taking long naps, can't seem to focus on anything for more than 30 minutes, and just feel an overall sense of hopelessness.  I wish I could point to the root cause. Much of it has been since I quit my nursing job. Am I having second thoughts about giving up my career?  I just don't know. It seems I'm having second thoughts about everything these days.  I just can't commit to any one thing.

This has left me feeling like all I want to do is eat and sleep, which is not good for me or my weight loss.  I have gained back most of what I lost last week, and continue to mindlessly binge.  The dog ate what remained of my Visalus powder, but my 1 month shipment is scheduled to arrive today.  Then I have to figure out how to go about my 2 shakes a day.  I love preparing dinner and eating with the kids.  But with being at the grooming salon during the day, maybe my best bet is to eat my well balanced meal at noon so that I don't stuff myself in the evening.  Guess I still need to do some thinking.  We shall see.

In the mean time, I suppose I need to call my doctor and make another appointment.

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