Getting Better

Well, finally, after a hiatus of about 2 weeks, I was back to work.  Before taking a break, I was suffering from severe anxiety over 'messing up' every dog I touched. I'm not sure what caused the problem, but it was extremely debilitating.  Then along with it came a fear of being bitten.  Again, no reason for it.  It just WAS. For the last week before christmas I found myself unable to finish a dog for one reason or another, and let mom finish them for me. Some of it was time constraints, some were difficult dogs, some were silly things, like fear of cutting the eyebrows off a schnauzer. Go figure.

That horrible streak finally came to an end yesterday.  Although my dogs still took 2 hours each, and they weren't what I would call perfect by any means, they were done, they were clean, neat, and completed by me. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures because I was more focused on relaxing and getting the job done. But for the first time in about a month, I was relaxed and enjoying what I did.  I'm sure hoping to have broken that horrible streak of anxiety and lack of confidence!

As for the diet, well....  Okay, still struggling with the whole shake thing. The ViSalus powder came in the mail and I started back on them yesterday.  But last night at my birthday party, I ate more than I should have.  But considering the shakes are only about 350 cals each, and I had them for two meals, I should still have had a fairly low intake based on weight watchers points.  (Though I haven't put them in yet)

I also need to add exercise in some form or another to my regimen.   Not just for weight loss, but also to help with the depression I've been feeling.  I saw the doctor yesterday and he increased my medication.  The fact that I'm actually writing today shows me that it's already working.  *Insert sigh of relief here*

Taking a Dive

The last week has been extremely difficult. The depression is getting worse every day, and I just can't seem to find motivation or joy in anything I do.  I've been taking abilify which was a wonderful help, but seems to have suddenly stopped working. I'm taking long naps, can't seem to focus on anything for more than 30 minutes, and just feel an overall sense of hopelessness.  I wish I could point to the root cause. Much of it has been since I quit my nursing job. Am I having second thoughts about giving up my career?  I just don't know. It seems I'm having second thoughts about everything these days.  I just can't commit to any one thing.

This has left me feeling like all I want to do is eat and sleep, which is not good for me or my weight loss.  I have gained back most of what I lost last week, and continue to mindlessly binge.  The dog ate what remained of my Visalus powder, but my 1 month shipment is scheduled to arrive today.  Then I have to figure out how to go about my 2 shakes a day.  I love preparing dinner and eating with the kids.  But with being at the grooming salon during the day, maybe my best bet is to eat my well balanced meal at noon so that I don't stuff myself in the evening.  Guess I still need to do some thinking.  We shall see.

In the mean time, I suppose I need to call my doctor and make another appointment.

Day 1, Visalus

After one day on Visalus, I got up this morning and weighed. I was delighted to find that I lost 3 lbs yesterday, though keep in mind I lost 6 in the first 3 days on weight watchers.  I just tend to be one of those people that starts off losing a large amount of weight in the first two weeks, then plateau quickly.  I promised to give this a try for a month to encourage a friend who is having a difficult time. I haven't decided whether I'll continue after that month, but we will see.

So this morning the scale read 288.2 lbs.  That equals a 10 lb weight loss in 5 days!  Thats the way I wanted to start the day.  Hopefully it will end well too. I have my first date in a year and a half this evening.  Keep your fingers crossed that I don't embarrass myself too terribly!

Giving Visalus a try

Yesterday I stopped to visit with a friend and she told me that she is using the ViSalus shakes. This friend suffers from a myriad of health problems, including fibromyalgia. She says that since she started taking the shakes, she feel so much better, with more energy and less pain.  And of course the weight loss.  

I tend to be a skeptical person.  I believe weightloss only comes with hard work and knowledge of nutrition, which is why I keep going back to weight watchers, but after much encouragement, I decided to go ahead and give it a try. I'll still track everything I eat/drink on my weight watchers log and keep the habit, but I'm going to monitor my loss closely.

Not long ago I attended a ViSalus party to see what it was all about. I have to admit, I'm not too impressed by pyramid marketing schemes. I have no interest in selling the product. I just want to see if what all my friends are saying is true (and no, I wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else did lol)  The worst that can happen is I try it for a month and don't like it. If it helps, all the better.  

So this morning I tried my own concoction of orange juice and strawberries with the powder.  By the middle of the glass I was feeling very full. It took everything in me to finish drinking it.  We'll see how it sticks with me through the day.  I'm going to eat something at lunch and try another shake at dinner.  I'll be sure to keep you posted.