A New Beginning

Happy Holidays!

Even though it isn't the first of the year, I've already made my resolution to lose weight (again), so why wait another week.  I have paid for my weight watchers membership, have my workout videos ready, and have started planning my menu for the week.  It will be easier this week since the kids are at their dads.

As would be expected, I suppose I should start with some pictures.  Not that I WANT to share how I look now.  But while we're being honest and real, lets lay it all out there.

I'm 38 (ok, ill be 39 in a week) and 298.2 lbs.  According to my doctors scale I'm a little more, but since I don't see my doctor weekly, we'll count my scale is the accurate one for the sake of tracking.    I haven't always been this big.  In fact, in my younger years, I was an athletic girl.

That short haired girl is me, in a pic on the front page of our small town newspaper, running a 75 yard touchdown during homecoming week festivities my freshman year - 1987

Senior Year -  1990

And after the birth of my first child - 1994

1997

2000

2007

2010 - This is when I truly began hiding behind my children in any picture I found myself in.

And Now:

     

Okay, enough with the pictures.   Sadly, this is an honest representation of me now. I suffer from high blood pressure and severe sleep apnea, my joints hurt more often than not, and since a car accident last year, I have chronic pain in my neck. I know the extra weight is no help.  Notice I haven't mentioned diabetes, heart desease, or any of the other many obesity related diseases.  I plan on losing this weight before I have to add any more to the list.

In the past, I have tried time and again to lose weight, but apparently was never committed enough. There are so many reasons to lose, and only ONE not to. I love food. There I said it. Food is my friend. I celebrate with it, mourn with it, it fills space in lonely days, comforts me when I'm sad, and soothes me when I'm angry.  But it never truly makes me FEEL better, so why do I do it.  This blog will be one tool I use to figure out why I do the things I do, and track my progress to a better me.